Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Lullaby for Taz in the Month of his Impending Adoption

From June 11, 2007

Birds on wires are in full view
     We're flat on our backs outside
            I want you to listen to what they have to say
    Imagine that we're up there with them
        What wouldn't be the first thing you couldn't do?
             And what could you take with you to remind yourself…?

Off the walls and on a tear
     You've got the dog barking
        DHS* wants you here and it wants you there
             And they want you there without stopping

And I couldn't be happier that the right mom and dad have found you
     But they underestimated the amount of meds
         For the number of days they'd have you
I'm thinkin' they'll never make that mistake again for the next camping trip…

So confusion meets withdrawal meets 10-year-old baggage besides
     And I'm sure the ADHD isn't helpful either
        You're teetering on breakdown, I'm teetering on hands tied—
             I don't know if I can direct this traffic around you for much longer

I have to take you out, little man
     But every wrestling move we've taught each other
         is doing no good today
You're light as a feather jumping on to my back off the trampoline
    Playing solitary volleyball all around and over me
        Thumb war, knuckle war and slaps** are doing nothing to calm you

I know all of that is easier than slowing down to think about
    Stuff that's hard to think about
         But I have to say it:
                Things are going to change
                        A lot
                             And we're all going to miss you

                              I am
                                       going to miss you

I can't use words like "always"
    And live with myself, or sleep at night
        So tell me your full name and focus in between deep breaths
            You're here right now and that's who you are

             No one's going to take that from you

For all your birth parents' faults
    That is what they gave you
        And that's who they meant you to be

         They meant it to be your own.

[* Department of Human Services  **game activity done with hands, not the physical aggression]

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